A lot of people think listening and hearing are the same thing, and even though you use your ears for both, they are actually very different. When you hear someone, that is all you are doing, but when you are listening, you are actually understanding what they are saying and hopefully connecting with it. There would honestly probably be less issues in the world if we listened to each other instead of just hearing what we want. You are able to academically connect with your work, professors, and classmates. You are able to listen to feedback, criticism, and hints on how to do better on tests or assignments. You can also have personal benefits from listening to each other instead of just hearing each other. You are able to complete the communication loop, where one is the receiver and the other is the giver. Hearing breaks that loop and listening keeps it going around.
To show you are listening you need to do three things. You need to show that you are paying attention. I struggle with this personally because even if it seems like I am not paying attention, I really am and it catches people off guard most times. The next thing you need is the right attitude. If you are having a political debate with someone, you cannot just yell at each other, neither of you would be listening to each other. You have to remain calm, but you can still be very passionate about your views while staying calm and not letting your emotions control. The final thing you need to do is adjust. If someone has a different view from you, temporarily change the way you are looking at the world to how they see it and you would be able to understand and listen to them better instead of just hearing them.
When you are the listener, you need to make sure that you show you are listening. Whether it is verbal feedback or nonverbal. It could really help the speaker. You can always say whether you agree or disagree and why, and you can always nod your head in agreement or lean forward to show that you are interested in the conversation instead of leaning back in your chair or leaning on your hand, it might discourage the speaker.
Love how you mentioned the three things we need to do to show that we are listening. I feel ya on the part when you look like you're not paying attention, but in actuality you are. I have to work on that one.
ReplyDeleteIt's good to know that even when you look like you are somewhere else, you really are listening! Just kidding! I know you are listening because of your responses, and that's a good thing!
ReplyDeleteI love how you mentioned those three effective things when listening. As the speaker, seeing your audience "lost in a trance" is never a reassuring feeling. Also, being able to adjust is huge! If you begin to notice you're losing your audeience, it's important to adjust accordingly with the expectations of engaging your audience and enabling them to actively listen to what you have to say.
ReplyDeleteI agree with you that we always need to give feedback, I hate when I'm talking to someone and they are in their phone or looking to another part.
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